1 · Export
You · ~10 min
Stripe: Payments → Failed → last 7 days → Export. First week you hunt for the filter. After that it's saved.
Weekly pack + drafts you send.
You export last week's failed Stripe charges. I send back who, dollars, why, a retry note, and short emails you copy-paste to those customers.
I don't touch cards. I don't log into your Stripe. I don't send the emails. You do.
What it is
A weekly desk. You drop a CSV. You get a pack.
Not software. Not a login. Not a recovery guarantee. One export a week, one pack back. I already do this; you mail the file.
How a week works
Clock starts when the CSV lands. You spend about ten minutes. I spend about thirty.
2 · Pack
Me · ~30 min
I build the list, check dollars against the file, pull anything that isn't a failed customer charge, and write the drafts. No collections language.
3 · You send
You · the emails
You paste your card-update link and hit send. I don't. I don't retry the cards either.
What you get
- pack.md — every fail: who, amount in USD, reason, last4 if you exported it, a suggested retry window, HIGH if it's $100+ or they failed twice this week.
- dunning drafts — one 3–4 sentence email per customer (repeats grouped). You send them. No legal threats. No “we're sending this to collections.”
- summary.md — counts, dollars failed, top reasons, and a labeled ESTIMATE of what 20 / 40 / 60% recovery would mean. That estimate is a what-if, not a forecast, and not why you pay $600.
Example data — not a client
Sample week
Invented rows so you can see the shape. Twelve fails, $3,130. Names, emails, and last4s are fake. Do not treat this as a book or a recovery forecast.
12failed charges
10customers
$3,130gross failed
7 HIGH$2,946 first
| Who | $ | Why | Retry | Pri |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jordan Chen ×2 | 1,780 | expired card · annual | Don't retry. New card on file. | HIGH |
| Quinn Harper | 320 | lost card | Don't retry. Replacement. | HIGH |
| Alex Rivera ×2 | 498 | insufficient funds | Retry in 3–5 days. | HIGH |
| Morgan Ellis | 79 | do not honor | Once in 2–3 days, then ask. | MED |
| Casey Nguyen | 12 | processing error | Retry in 24 hours. | LOW |
Top reasons in the invented file: insufficient funds $513 · expired card $1,780 · card declined $248. The full pack is every row, plus drafts, plus the one-pager. 20 / 40 / 60% of $3,130 is an ESTIMATE ($626 / $1,252 / $1,878) — a what-if, not a promise.
What I don't do
- Touch cards or store card numbers
- Log into your Stripe
- Email your customers
- Tax, bookkeeping, or become your finance person
- Collections or chargeback counsel
- Silver Point. Hedge fund. Any of that.
Price
Two-Friday trial. First pack is free, same week you send the file.
$600/mo after, if useful.
Cancel anytime. One export a week, one pack back. The fee is the desk — not a promise you recover $X.
How to start
- In Stripe: Payments → Status = Failed (or Declined) → last 7 days → Export. Billing → Invoices → unpaid also works. I am liberal on headers.
- Mail the CSV to benjamin.kelman4@gmail.com. Subject can stay “Failed Charge Desk trial.”
- I send the first pack this week. You send the emails.